Reader Question: More on Heaven and Memory

Following up on "Reader Question: Will We Know Our Loved Ones in Heaven?" a reader writes:

If we should make it to heaven, and we recognize the other family and friends there, will we also remember those that harmed us here on earth? In other words, if someone hurt me, but they repented and changed and made good at the end of their life on earth, when we see them, will we know/remember the wrongdoing?

To be honest, I was surprised by the reaction to the earlier post. The Church's teaching has been consistent, and it goes all the way back to the New Testament: Our life in Heaven is a continuation--a completion--of our life on earth. As the Preface to the Eucharistic Prayer for the Mass of Christian Burial states, "Lord, for your faithful people life is changed, not ended." We don't become new people or different people; and retaining our identities means retaining our memories.

Yet many readers resisted this idea, and I think now I understand why. The problem lies in our experience of human emotion--particularly strong emotions, overwhelming feelings of joy or sadness. We have a hard time reconciling those emotions with our understanding of Heaven.

If we know our loved ones in Heaven, and they aren't there, won't we be sad? Conversely, if we have been hurt by someone in this life, and he or she is there, wouldn't that invoke feelings of anger? And aren't both sadness and anger incompatible with the joys of Heaven?

Caught up in the emotions of our lives here on earth, we have a hard time understanding the words of Revelation 21:4: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and death shall be no more, nor mourning, nor crying, nor sorrow shall be any more, for the former things are passed away."

How can there be no tears, unless we have no memories? The key to understanding is to realize that, in Heaven, mysteries that we cannot fully understand here on earth will be open to us, and two of those mysteries are the workings of God's justice and His mercy.

If, God forbid, our loved ones are not in Heaven, we will understand why, and the sadness that we experience when thinking about that possibility today will not part of our experience in Heaven. Likewise, in the perfection of our natures in Heaven and in our understanding of God's mercy, we will rejoice at the knowledge that those who may have hurt us in this life have been saved.

In the end, there's little to be gained from worrying about such matters here on earth. Our efforts every day should be aimed at the salvation of our souls and the souls of those around us--both those we love and those who may hurt us. Through our prayers and sacrifice here on earth, we may all, God willing, enjoy eternal life in the contemplation of God.

If you have a question that you would like to have featured in our "Reader Questions" series, send me an e-mail at catholicism.guide@about.com. Be sure to put "QUESTION" in the subject line, and please note whether you'd like me to address it privately or on the Catholicism blog.